Guilty Conscience

I confuse conscience with conscious all of the time... is there even a difference? (goes to dictionary.com)

she's not hooked on drugs like i thought that she was
she's not so usual

i have that jason mraz song stuck in my head. could it be because i heard it at least four times today? the same cd has been in my car for a while now, so i finally got the nerve to change and i put James Morrison Undiscovered in instead.

that's a lot of in's.

I'm only supposed to be home long enough to grab sneakers and my camera, but i've been writing monologues and soliloquys (ques?) in my head all day, so i thought i'd sit down and rant a little.

I'm skipping work today.

There was no parking and I was late, so I didn't stick around. I drove through the Brandywine Valley in the misty morning sun--listening to Mraz--BEAUTIFUL. I got a bag of books from the 1920's & 1940's from goodwill for $2--amazing. I also got a National Geographic book on alaska (enchanting). I want to learn as much as I can about it and go there next April, May or June. Instead of talking about how much I want to do something, I am going to do it. I am going to Alaska. I would love to hike the Stampede trail, and go to Chris McCandless "magic bus", but there's a river blocking it that is pretty much impassable, unless I go in the winter time. Alaskan winter? no thanks. I'm a sunny-kinda gal.

I should be using this time to work on my photography, since that's what I really want to do with my life. But I'm stuck. I can take pictures, sure. Then what? I need to save them, share them, get prints and a portfolio made. I need to get my own website. I need to get an interest in all of the dirty work that I couldn't care less about. I need to get the money to do it all.

mmmm I'm going to be fantasizing about Alaska all day now.

(next stop, cali)