Wednesday, August 12, 2009

November 2008

{I wish I was
like you}

You can bend
But not break
You give more
Than you take
You are selfless
But never helpess

December 26, 2008

I know it's in there
hidden somewhere
behind muscle and sinew
the mercy and virtue
the good that won't come out

December 28, 2008

The music is drowning out the words
but the emotion is coming through clear
how could you ever feel so alone
with so many people in the city
when you're ready honey,
come on home
I'll be here waiting

December 25, 2008-- Any Other Day

Don't come my way, today
I don't want to hear
What you have to say
Not when you're treating me
like every other girl
Even though I was always
part of your world
And don't come my way, today
Just so you can ignore me
You used to adore me
Or at least that's what you said
When we were laying in bed
It was four years ago today
I felt life was just beginning
Now I see, that was only an ending
You captured me
But now I'm breaking free
So baby, happy anniversary
That's all I have to say
because this holiday feels like
Any other day

November 27, 2008

Ribbons and curls
give way to
eating disorders

Dreams twist
and turn
into nightmare-ish

Desire grows
and like an
addict you are
always wanting

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

November 24, 2008

the war is never over
but still I wait for the sun
I hang onto false hope
waiting for a brighter day to come
these things I own
I'm starting to become

November 17, 2008

You take my breath away
Everytime you say you want me to stay
You make me speechless, baby
Whenever you are near
But that does not mean
that I don't want you here
Because everytime you're around
my feet can't find solid ground
and my head gets lost in space
But I wouldn't have it any other way

November 16, 2008

time is all we have
through the good, the bad
time marches on
we have to be strong
lets not take it for granted
there is no rewinding
I won't waste another minute
drowning in my misery
there's too much
out there to see

September 9, 2008

We are what we hate

August 27, 2008

I don't have any money, honey
I don't have no car
Still there's no doubt
In my mind
I will find you
Where ever you are
We would be happy
living off the sun
We could get by
As tourists
Living on the run

August 25, 2008 (3)

I'm going to sleep to dream tonight
and thank god for the moonlight
cause a black sky just wouldn't seem right
I'm going to sleep to dream tonight
With you on my mind
I'm going to take all of my doubts
and leave them behind
I'll forget about my fears and
Not worry about the years
and when I wake up, I'll know
that i'll see you again soon
Because whenever I close my eyes
I won't have to dream
to know you'll be there
when I wake

August 25, 2008 (2)

Nineteen was only
Four years ago
But it feels like
A lifetime away
No matter how hard
I try to forget
I can still
Remember that day

August 25, 2008

The fine line
between music and poetry
does not exist in my mind
Nor in the rhythm of words
that flow from this pen
It cannot be found
in the voices of a chorus
Or the lyrics of a song
No matter where I go
It cannot be known


Sorry if anything is posted twice. I check the corner when I post, but that doesn't always work. I'm too scattered. I don't think I've had any doubles yet though.

I'm probably going to start putting the date written as the title.

Although I have hundreds without dates....


Some Quotes:

"Sometimes what you call everything, I call nothing."

"Destiny has a way of finding you."
(One Tree Hill)

"I don't give a shit about sleeping. I want love, or death. That's it."
(Leon The Professional)


A beautiful girl came from the sea
With golden hair flowing
down to her knees
She learned to walk but wished to fly
Like the graceful angels that filled the sky
She never found her place
in this material world
She spread her saving grace
among(st) the people on the ground
but when all was said and done
She still found herself bound
locked up in their chains with no way out
In the distance she thought she heard
the distinct sound of an angels shout
He came to save her
and this advice he gave her
they will hunt you and torture you
and bury you alive
but if you can forgive them after
and keep your heart hate free
then you can survive
and you, too, can fly like me

Monday, June 22, 2009

End of the World Blues

We have a hundred words that say the same thing
And we cannot understand each other
There are just too many ways
to live your own life
So we don't worry 'bout one another
And everywhere else, they wonder
how America got all the power
We said this year, that things would change
But we just keep on living the same way
And one man, he cannot save us
Not when we act so blind
This man will not protect us
When we wake up to find
We are killing ourselves slowly
Just by closing our minds*

(Listening to blues always makes me want to write)

*eyes, originally.
haha. that didn't happen.

for my photography, go here
it's all very unorganized still, but i'm working on it. i'm going through hundreds of photo cd's, trying to pick the crap out and upload everything else. I need to label and sort (group) them as well. I'm currently half-way through 2007... i'm working my way up, so basically i started when i got a digital camera, 2004. i'm trying to get it up to date.
I'm trying to get this done fast, because my next step is to determine what's good and print and sell them. I wish I could start doing that now, but I need to know what I have first. I need to catalog everything.

I do have an etsy account going, so I can sell my photography and my crafts on there once I'm ready. (Another terrible habit of mine, aside from taking thousands of pictures and doing nothing with them [until now] is to collect thousands of stones and do nothing with them.) I collect stones, beach glass, and sea shells for jewelry and crafts, but I probably only make 1 pair of earrings for every 100 stones I get. That's another hobby I would like to pursue (and sell). I always get involved in too many projects at once, so nothing ever really gets finished. But i'm tired of having so much extra crap (mostly craft-like crap) that I don't need or use taking up space in my room, so I'm tackling everything one by one. Once I'm finished with photography (up to speed, lets say, since it's something that I will always be doing) I will return to jewelry--evaluate what I have, what can sell, what to make, etc. Then I'll start with mixed media and painting. That's something I'm dying to do RIGHT NOW, but I swore to myself I will finish something and make money off it instead of getting another second job and forgetting everything once again. (That seems to happen once every year or two) these paraenthesis must be killing you. I know they're killing me, especially since I can't spell the word.


It looks like there's a space that wants to be written in. But I'm at a loss. Everything just feels too damn cliched or too religious.
Maybe "Nothing Lasts"
"All Things Must Pass"
"Carbon footprint? WHAT carbon footprint?"
I don't f*ing know. Give me a hint.

PS- David Gray is amazing.
Then again, so is every musician with half a brain.
I'm addicted.
(It's my new television)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

i'm thinking about two more blogs on here, one for thoughts and random things, and one for photography. but the names are getting in the way. usually that doesn't set me back, but i guess i'm not feeling very creative at the moment. every name i want is taken.

i want to make blogger a regular thing. you know, keep all three updated, make some friends, actually read the blogs that i friend because they interest me....

well anyway, wish me luck.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


have you ever seen the sky so blue?
only when I'm here with you
have you ever seen the grass so green?
only when you're here with me
have you ever felt a love like this?
my whole life it's you I've missed
together we'll be, forever we'll be
in love like this
my whole life i've waited
sat so long anticipating
now you're finally here
don't ever leave me dear
at night I cry alone
feels so good to have you home
I'll wipe your tears away
you know I'm here to stay

(december 8, 2008)

Like the Roses

When I awoke today
You were not there
the bed was cold
the air, colder still
I go to the machine
there is nothing new
I expected not to
hear anything from you
I look over at the table
you used to bring me flowers
somehow I've always known
like the roses in the vase
our love would soon die too
I take a shower,
go about my day
And I change the sheets
before I go to sleep

(December 8, 2008)

Hunter (or, Dying Dreams)

I want to be the hunter
I want to take control
I want to feel the power
of the cross and bow
I will stalk my prey
til they have nowhere left to go
I hunt for songs
I hunt for peace
I hunt for dreams
I hunt for me

(december 2008)


the safety of objects
the comfort of a lamp
and chair
knowing they
will always be there.
the security of
and mattresses
and of the things
in your life
you could
do without

(november 27, 2008)

lay me down

One more
lost to oblivion
and we wonder
why we are fighting.
one more
shot down
to death
in an alley
no more hugs
or smiles
or words to be said
and we wonder
stands for.
as another is laid
down among millions
in wooden boxes.

(November 27, 2008)


I step out of my skin
because you wouldn't
let me in
They won't know me
by name anymore
You are not who
I live for

(November 16, 2008)


Inspire me
with your
songs. Soothe
me with
your hands.
Save me
with your

(november 16, 2008)


Do you remember
that day
we walked through
the overgrown trails
you pulled aside
the thorn branches
for me
you held my hand
so i would not fall
while staring up
at the leaves
like stars
in the day-time
we didn't say
in the quiet
i heard your
heart racing
i heard the stream
and the wind
in the trees
i heard your thoughts
tune into mine
we were
as one

(November 12, 2008)

Will We?

who will stand-up
for those who cannot
and who will speak
for those with no voices
who will fight
for what's right
when so much
is going wrong

(November 12, 2008)


I wish I could own
ever book i've
ever read
good and bad
I would
like trophies
and tell myself
these are
my dirty secrets
my loves
my life

(november 11, 2008)


you run until you fall
you walk until you crawl
you cry until you laugh
you speed until you crash
you love until you can't
you sing until you're hoarse
you try to stay on course
you try until you fail
you stay until you bail

(november 2, 2008)


And I'd give up forever to touch you,
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

(goo goo dolls)

Sunday, January 11, 2009

wish you were here

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

(pink floyd)

Thursday, January 8, 2009